No matter what the field, the role, or the level: We are all playing the balancing act.
Men & women. It’s not a gender thing. It’s not an age thing.
Work-life balance! Every time I come across this term, I wonder what exactly do we mean. For most of you who built your careers in the 2000s, this has a very different connotation than for those of us who entered the workforce – so to speak, in the 90s.
So I want to try and de-mystify the phrase “work-life balance” and add my own takeaways.
Firstly, for the amount of time we spend at work… this is a big part of our waking life. It’s not our whole life, and it doesn’t define you or who you are, but it ‘IS’ a big portion of it. And thinking otherwise or excluding this in your calculation of the happiness quotient is absurd or short-sighted. So work-life balance should actually be coined as Our Life in Balance – it’s not the parts but the sum of all its parts. Work, family, romance, friends, exercise, our passions, travelling, Netflixing, and how we balance it. One size does NOT FIT all!
Secondly, the difference in the work culture and expectation of the 90s’ to the millennium. Most of us found work and we got good at it. We enjoyed the freedom it gave us, the financial stability, the ability to move away from home and live in the dazzling cities. We found our friends at work we went out drinking with these friends. And sometimes even hung out on weekends, many found love at work… so in many ways work actually created the ecosystem called “life”.
So to balance “life” and the many roles we play, we need to differentiate the time we spend within the office (or wherever your new remote office is) from the time we spend with the same elements, the same characters, who now are not our colleagues or bosses but after a few beers, our chill pals, our confidants. People we de-zone with.
Once you identify this and recognize the time clocking in is different from the time you clocked out – you will appreciate the ecosystem it built, that will be with you well past your work.
Thirdly, most people who talk about work-life balance, they seem to target this to working mothers. People who don’t have kids, it is assumed don’t struggle as much with finding the “balance”… and if you happen to be a man you are lower in the equation. This is as true now as before. We think it’s different but it isn’t. I see my niece in her 20s… logging on within 15 mins of waking up and surfacing out of her room some 10 hours late, zombied from being in front of the blue screen. “Too much work, or some backlog, or someone was sick, so I had to fill in”. I tell her – “create your zones and people will learn that you need your “break” and off the screen time”. So if you are single or DINKS in your 20s…. You too need time to discover yourself. Find your equation. No one else will. Find your balance.
3 myths for one blog is enough!
Now some tips , to help you balance all this in the rat race that’s called “having it all”. I love it. I do have it all and I relish it.
1. Build your tribe. Make friends at home, at work, at your pet’s care centre - based on mutual respect. Personal equation and collecting your chips is as critical on the soccer field as it is in the workspace. And don’t hesitate to call in those chips.
2. Create your personal zone but don’t hardwire it. Everyone will learn to respect your time off if you define it, but also step up when needed. Balance mean some days one side will pull hard and other days, the other side will. Recognise that and make yourself available to both pulls. Early on in my career in the outsourcing business I asked my clients who worked in the US time-zone that Fridays was my “pub time” and if we could keep reviews on any other days – they understood and happily agreed. So even if my boss in India wondered how I managed to get out of work by 7 pm in a BPO world…. My clients were onboard. If there was a panic every now and then – I stayed back to support my team.
3. Remember you are not alone in this. No matter what the field, what the role, what the level — we are all playing the balancing act. Men & women. It’s not a gender thing. It’s not an age thing. And some days WILL be out of sync. Find your own balance. I remember in my early days in HyperQuality, I worked late. We lived in a typical Gurgaon nuclear family setup. I often came home late, mostly past bedtime. So we made bedtime reading into morning time reading. We all got up early and I read my bedtime stories to my son Ayush (then 3 or 4) in the morning over his glass of milk. One, two or sometimes three stories of Poldy, the scarecrow before he got up to get ready for playschool. Don’t try and be perfect. There is no perfect solution. Be Human. Some days will be crazy and that does not make you bad.
[box type=”success” align=”” class=”” width=””] Find your Mentors. I read somewhere that Sports people, at top of their game, Virat Kohli, PV Sindhu, all have coaches to improve their already super performance. But we try and cruise through the work-friends-family-gym-promotions-in-laws-kids-school-deadlines on our own. With no coach, no mentors. [/box]
Believe in yourself, love yourself and what you are trying to achieve. Doesn’t have to be something earth moving. But it’s your goal. And yes, success means hard work. There is no shortcut. But have fun along the way.
This article is authored by Aarati Kumar, Co Founder & COO, MattsenKumar LLC
